The months and weeks leading up to your big day are busy, hectic and filled with kind gestures and gifts from your loved ones. You want to ensure that you are adequately expressing your gratitude and appreciation for all that you are receiving. Some Basic Wedding Thank You Card Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts will make the process both painless and meaningful.
DO: Order or purchase your thank you cards early so that you are ready to go and can do your cards for each event as it happens. It is much easier to compose meaningful thank yous while the event is still fresh in your mind and you are not yet overwhelmed. Showers can start weeks before the actual wedding countdown. This is one area where etiquette experts and laymen agree, these thank you notes should be on paper. Texts do not count!
DON’T: Worry about matching your thank you cards to the overall wedding theme. You can buy simple boxes of cards that match the bridal shower or event for which you are sending your thanks. (Eg. A tea party Bridal Shower- tea cup themed note cards) Nobody will notice or care if your motif is consistent for every single wedding event.
DON’T: Tackle them alone. Enlist organizational help from your bridesmaids and get your partner to write some or add his own thoughts to the bottom of the card. Cosigning is a nice idea but don’t let this delay the process.
DO: Send them out promptly. Thank You cards for showers should be sent out within two weeks. People will not be waiting by the mailbox BUT you may as well get down to it. It will pile up and notes will be too repetitive if you have to compose them all after the wedding. There will be more!
DON’T: Overthink it. You are not writing a novel. Four or five sincere sentences are all that is necessary. Make a mention of the gift and include how you intend to use it. “Thank you for the lovely barbeque set. We look forward to hosting backyard parties in our new home.”
Do: Pace yourself. They should be done promptly but not in a rush. In most cases, you can write 2-4 a day and still stay on schedule. My handwriting gets sloppy after several cards and my thanks may sound a bit hollow. A break and a fresh start will breathe new life into you and the cards you write.
DON’T: Spell a name wrong. Be careful to confirm the spelling of each name. Check the card they included, confirm on your guest list or do a little online social media research if you are unsure.
DO: Be diligent in recording all gifts and monitoring that you have sent a card. Your bridesmaids can help with special events but you should also have a list for gifts that are dropped at your parents or received by mail.
DO: Send individual thank you cards to people who went in on a group gift. A group card will NOT do the trick in this case.
DO: Also send thank you cards to people who were generous with their property, expertise, time or skills. It takes a village to throw a wedding and the gifts of help are just as valuable as the tangible presents. Also consider sending a quick note to the professionals and vendors who delivered for you. Your photographer, officiant, florist, cake-maker, dressmaker or caterer would love to hear back from you after your wedding.